Chapter 2: Childhood

Childhood

I have always remembered my childhood as one filled with joy. As something I wanted to go back to. I know now why, yet I also know nostalgia is not the way to get there.

I was a very playful, energetic and rather mischievous child; a stark contrast to the many years of depression I have since experienced. Even the periods of mania, didn’t come close to it. They came about from a very different kind of energy; an energy of compensation, while there is nothing to compensate. There is no need for depression, nor is there a need for a perversion of playfulness to balance it out.

But let me first go through a few of the things I remember particularly well and the stories I weaved around them.[1]

One of the things I have heard many times is how energetic I was. I think I would probably be labelled as having ADHD these days, though I have been spared form that. One story that comes up often, is how as a toddler who could only crawl, I would slide out of the extra seatbelt they give to the mother of infants on airplanes, get to the floor and crawl in between the legs of the other passengers – as far as I could possibly get. One can see this story in different lights. One way is to say that it was an attestation to my energy, willingness to explore, yearning for freedom, etc.. A good reason for nostalgia in many instances. The other way – and I’m sure my subconscious mind picked up on that – is that I was an embarrassment to my parents. Because as the fasten seat-belts sign was on, my mother had to get up into the carriageway – to the great dismay of the flight attendants of course – and go and ask the passengers in the rows behind our seats if they had seen a toddler pass. Neither point of view serves. Nor the ‘heydays-version’ of boundless energy and courage, nor the version where I did something wrong and brought shame and discomfort to my family.

You might say I make much ado about nothing; I was just crawling around as a one year old, so what’s the big deal? You are right! That is the approach to take! Yet, in our experience it doesn’t always work that way. Our Ego, in conjunction with the subconscious mind, loves to label and give weight to whatever experience it can utilize to not let you be in a state of peace. It will either utilize it to make you feel grand and superior, or sad and nostalgic for the good old days, or embarrassed and ashamed, or…. Everything it can do to not see an experience as an experience, but as a story with a lot of weight, meaning and continued implications (creating an ‘identity’ whose current experiences are coloured and impacted by previous experiences). I’m sure that if you give it a thought, you too can come up with a story like this. Stories where other people are like: “what’s the big deal here? So what?”, while you have given it a particular importance. It can be something as silly as burning yourself on the stove. It was just a burn, it happened years or even decades ago, it fully healed within a few days, yet you still remember it and allow it, through the subconscious mind and your ego, to still affect you to a certain degree at, and in, this moment.

If you look well, I’m sure you can in fact find hundreds of these stories, whether you are labelled as bi-polar or not. And, if you are labelled as such, whether they have in some way contributed to that, or not. We have all collectively allowed our egos and subconscious minds to navigate us and impact us at each and every moment through stories and patters we have adopted. I ask you again, with how many of all of that do you still want to play in this moment?

Another story in the same vein, which I polarised[2] in a different way, comes from when I was a year and half of age. We lived in London at that time in a little house in Chelsea. I had just learned how to get out of my baby cod at that time. I would pull myself up from the bars of my bed and start exploring my room. One day my parents where away for a long weekend and my grandfather Daddio and his partner came to look after me alongside the nanny. Aware or not of my recently acquired prowess, they left me to take an afternoon nap in my room with the French window open. Once I woke up and climbed over the bars of my cod and saw the window open, I decided to explore further and get onto the tiny terrace. There I performed the same trick, falling several meters off the first-floor balcony. I was rushed to the hospital, where they found nothing wrong with me, except that my feet were slightly red. When my parents came back from their trip cut short, all I could say was “Philippe boomboom”. Whether this left psychological scars at the time or not – my guess would be not – my ego has many years later used this often-repeated story to construct a self-destructive narrative. Like the fact that I was born with my umbilical cord around my neck (how many million people haven’t had the same experience but made nothing of it), this was yet another proof that supported the mantra: “I don’t like living and I never wanted to live in the first place”.

But there were not only dramatic moments in London. Sometimes I would just be plainly mischievous, like the time I climbed in the chimney when I was supposed to be in bed. All black and almost entirely nude I presented myself to my parents who were giving a dinner party at the time. Although it must certainly have upset the (semi-)formal occasion, I think this instance of me being a handful, mostly provided some comic relief in this instance.

In any case, after a year the work assignment of my father in London – and what my mother has repeatedly described as the happiest time of her life – came to an end. While my sister Alexia was still conceived there, by the time she was born we had moved back to Belgium.

As an older brother and a little sister, we were certainly fighting sometimes (to the occasional despair of my mother or the household help), but in general we had a lot of adventures together and our rivalry – if it can be called that way – was much more subtle. Alexia, at the same time strong and intent on making her mark (and as a little Taras Bulba destroying my towers of wooden blocks from the moment she could walk) generally followed me around in whatever plan we hatched. We would dress up in our parents’ clothes, play shop or climb trees. It was the archetype of what one would call a happy and care-free childhood.

Although I was known to be at times quite irascible, I myself indeed remember those days in a rather different light. Once my father brought a boomerang from a business-trip in Australia. Even though our garden was not large enough to take full advantage of the instrument, I tried it out a few times. Before long it got stuck into a tree I could not climb as it was delicately interwoven with other trees for aesthetic purposes. So, I took a soccer ball and threw it at the boomerang, only to get it stuck as well. Then I tried it with the Australian football I had received on the same occasion. Same result. In the end I was looking for something large and was bulky and would not get stuck. I took the plastic tricycle of my sister and flung it with all my might towards the trees. Now the boomerang, the two footballs and a tricycle were stuck there. Notwithstanding the frustration and shame I must have felt over my failed attempts, I could mostly see how funny the situation was. The boomerang that would not come back, did so in the end. Likewise, the capacity that we have as a child to see the funniness in situations that might otherwise aggravate us, tends to get stuck or lost along the way, as we grow up. Now is the time – I would say – to allow it to come back into our lives.

But there was not only the nice garden to grow up in. In a circle of a few hundred yards around the house there were three parks, one of which would have belonged to my father’s family, if my grandfather had felt his financial future was more assured at the time it came up for sale. In any case, where I grew up was known as the best suburban neighbourhood of Antwerp and our house was donated by my grandfather Daddy to my father around the time he got married. It was in fact less than a hundred yards from his own home. This meant of course that we would often go and play at my grandparents’ and that my grandmother Omi often would pass by our home to bring a thing or the other. If that is a mixed blessing for any daughter in law, it certainly came into play for my mother a few years later. But in those days, we were living (mainly my grandmother Omi’s) dream of the Große Familie[3].

This also meant that contact with my cousins was rather intense. Just a few weeks after I was born, I took my first trip to the South of France, where my grandfather Daddy had acquired – a few years prior – a large domain with a 16th century ‘castle farm’ at the top of a hill, called The Maine Leonard. My cousin Michaël, the first son of my father’s older sister Bettina,[4] who was born just 9 days after me, was there too. Almost every time I see my Omi nowadays, she refers to the story of how her two eldest grandsons – hardly aware of their environments – where already in her arms there. Not surprisingly therefor, in the years that followed, the close contact between me and Michaël was only further promoted by her. Yet, the fact remained I was the oldest grandson, the one she gave the most nicknames to in those days: Flupke and knollebolleke, but also Philippe-Touche-A-Tout and Philippus Maximus.[5]

With the family on my mother’s side, the contact was maybe less intense, notwithstanding that the family of my mother’s elder sister – who had moved to Holland – would come to join us at our apartment at the seaside each summer holidays. Those were the days of building sand castles on the beach and standing on them until the rising tide would sweep them away. My mother’s younger sister (and my godmother), Cindy, who was herself without children, would come and visit us more regularly, and often stay and talk with my mother for hours on end. Of my godfather on the other side, my father’s older brother Christian, I remember mostly how entertaining he could be, but also the story my mother has so often repeated, of how he would push me under water whenever I tried to swim. This concludes well the narration of my relatively care-free childhood, which however already included several experiences prone to polarisation.

—–

Again, the question comes up: why did I choose to share exactly these snippets of information about my childhood? We will go into a bit more detail on that at the end of the chapter, but first I want to draw your attention to the fact that in this chapter I introduced a concept that I didn’t use in the first one; namely, the Ego. It is, in my current perspective, a vital one in understanding our current human experience. So what is the Ego?

We have all heard about the concept of ego.[6] We tend to say that someone with a big ego tries to boost himself or is very self-centred. In a way you could say I perfectly fit this portrayal. I am not shying away from the fact I grew up wealthy (even including details that some might find entirely obsolete, like the prime minister attending my parents wedding or the fact that I grew up in the best neighbourhood of Antwerp) and many would consider writing an autobiographical text a quite self-centred thing to do.

So why am I doing it? Because it feels the most accurate and true to myself. I also feel that by making it a personal account, my very own comédie humaine,[7] the message becomes more empowered. Information is just information. It is ours to reject or utilize, but above all, it is the personal flavour, that each and anyone of us gives to it, that enriches it and allows not only the information, but ourself (and ourselves) to expand beyond anything we have ever experienced up to this moment.

So fret not, I will not enumerate every ritzy hotel I stayed at in subsequent chapters, nor boast needlessly about all the so-called privileges I have enjoyed in this life-stream. Only to the degree that it serves, and has served me in my experiences, will I make reference to them. However, if you have been put off by any of it, or would be so in subsequent chapters, I would invite you to take a look at why that is so. This might sound very harsh at the moment, but an experience is just an experience. In a previous life-stream I might have been a beggar or a slave. Or the ruler of a galaxy for that matter. And so could you have been. But in the current life-stream, what I’m writing about is what I got to play with. Your current life conditions might be very different. But if you feel a rejection (‘it’s easy that way’, jealousy, smirkiness,..) towards what I write, because you are a struggling single mom, a drug addict, living in a slum, a sexual abuse experiencer or to what ever degree distant from my experiences,[8] I would invite you to look at the stories and programs behind that rejection, whatever nature it may have.

Now I introduced another concept: programs. That brings me back to what I wanted to share about the Ego. So what is my latest understanding of what the Ego is? It is a super-program, a form of Artificial Intelligence. Without going into too much detail about it at the moment, I would invite you to reflect on the following: even if it seems far-fetched, just imagine that your Siri or your Google Assistant was not neutral, but constantly taking all the information from your life-stream and creating stories around them. Just imagine that when you asked “Siri, what is the weather going to be like tomorrow?”, it would not reply “Tomorrow it is going to be X degrees and raining”, but something along the lines of: “It is going to be cold and rainy and you will have to wear that coat with the button missing, so why have you not yet mended that button, you said you would do it last week, so go and do it now quickly before you forget it, because you always forget everything, like that e-mail you were going to send yesterday, so take out your phone first and send it quickly, but hey!, hey! I was saying you need your coat to get mended because it is going to be really cold and unpleasant tomorrow, unlike during the holiday you took last year where you could finally relax and enjoy the good weather, so why don’t you go online and check for a holiday right now, oh god no, if only that were possible, but of course you do not have enough money on your balance at the moment because you had that big expense last month, that was really terrible, just when you had saved up so well lately, then bam it all had to go wrong for you again, I mean, you had put away enough for a holiday and even a brand new coat, now you are stuck with that old coat with the button, so you should really get onto that, but in the meanwhile you are of course allowed to dream, why shouldn’t you dream of that holiday to the Bahamas you always wanted to go to, no harm in dreaming away to some pictures on the internet, is there? You already have your phone out of your pocket, so…etc. etc.” Or, if you would ask “Ok Google, what do I have on my schedule tomorrow” and it would not answer “You have a lunch with your mother at 12.30 p.m.”, but rather something like: “You have to go and have lunch with your mother again, I mean you already saw her two days ago and she was going on and on about that same old thing, so it’s just going to be the same as always, and she will make a comment about how you look, and you have not been to the hairdresser lately and your hair is really a mess, so it would be best if you also planned an appointment with the hairdresser at 9.30 am before you go to the lunch, because remember that your co-worker didn’t give you a single look today, and normally he is so friendly with you, but lately he has not spoken to you very much, maybe he is not interested in you anymore because you are a mess or because you gained a few pounds lately because of course you have not gone to the gym for two weeks, so why are you paying that expensive subscription, if you hardly ever do the effort of just one hour of work-out a week, that’s not so much to ask is it? No, instead you have let yourself totally go lately, if you want to be fat, then just embrace it, no need for body shaming anymore these days, but of course mother sees that differently and she is always comparing you to your sister, who of course is much better looking and does everything right in her life and is the favourite of your mother, we all know that, but they don’t understand who you really are deep inside, … Anyways now it’s too late to make an appointment at the hairdresser, but the gym is still open for an hour, but you were so looking forward to a chill evening in front of the TV, however the problem with Netflix is that you are always bingewatching until way too late, so you should not do that now and not waste anymore time and just go to the gym before it closes, or you could just sit down now in the sofa and watch only one episode of that show and then go to sleep on time and get up early tomorrow and go to that hairdresser in that other part of town that doesn’t need appointments, but that is really quite far, but hey, you already have that lunch tomorrow and the hairdresser thing you are going to do and getting up early and all, so now just relax, you have deserved it, because boy what a shitty day this was and tomorrow doesn’t look much better! So turn on the TV and forget for a little while.”

Does that somehow ring a bell? Do you have a voice in your head that does this, or something similar? If not, I salute you. If you do, like me – and I am certainly not yet fully through with it at the moment of writing[9] – just make the effort of recognising it. Become conscious of what is happening and again, decide if you want to continue playing with that or not.

That being said, even if you recognise that voice in your head, you might still feel uncomfortable with the idea it is an actual AI or a super-program as I called it above. Once more, I will not go too deep into that at this moment,[10] but I will leave you with a few more things to consider.

First, in November 2013, astronomers reported, based on Kepler space mission data, that there could be as many as 40 billion Earth-sized planets orbiting in the habitable zones of Sun-like stars and red dwarfs in the Milky Way, 11 billion of which may be orbiting Sun-like stars. What are the odds of us humans, being the only life in the universe or the only ones populating one out of 40.000.000.000 potentially habitable planets that would be capable of conceiving a form of artificial intelligence?[11]

Secondly, mainstream-science[12] acknowledges that our world is far stranger than it appears at first sight. Not only does our planet turn around the sun, even though it doesn’t look that way at first sight, there are also all kind of things we cannot see, but can experience, such as gravity. Which, according to Einstein, in turn would be a consequence of the curvature of space-time. So space and time are one, generally accepted science tells us. Furthermore, we have all come to believe we are made up of molecules and atoms (how many of you have already seen an actual picture of an atom or a molecule?). But it doesn’t stop there, the atoms are made up of sub-atomic particles[13] such as protons and neutrons. But again, it doesn’t stop there, sub-atomic particles are made out of quarks, which are never even directly observed or found in isolation.[14] So we generally accept that we are made up of particles we cannot even directly observe. I won’t go much further down this rabbit hole, but in several of the theories our most advanced scientists are experimenting with, there are many dimensions beyond the four dimensions we generally perceive,[15] there are multiverses and wormholes, elementary particles have flavours and through their entanglement can shift instantly into another state;[16] the strangeness just goes on and on.

I am not a scientist,[17] nor do I fully grasp what all this means, but I do know that if even one of the great dogmatic institutions of today’s world – science – tells us that the reality is stranger than most of us can even come to imagine and is governed by things we cannot even directly observe at present, it opens up possibilities to contemplate things that would previously seem impossible, or bad science-fiction at best.

Thirdly, now that we are on the subject of science-fiction, many of us are aware of the 1999 movie The Matrix. I cannot attest to how accurate that movie is,[18] but I would like to ask you this: could it be that our Ego is not an Agent Smith pursuing us in the physical world, but rather something that is in connection with our mind and in that way tries to get us off course every chance it gets? That we actually live in a kind of matrix? A matrix we might well want to leave behind? Could it be that in this stranger than expected reality, with near-infinite planets and potential civilisations, an AI could have been created that goes beyond Siri on your phone or the holographically projected Agent Smith? Could it be that your Ego, with the support of a kind of matrix, its self-learning capabilities and the wealth of information your subconscious mind provides, somehow has been given permission to drive most of your experience? I don’t intend you to get into a fearful state, that would be most convenient for the Ego, but just to contemplate it as neutrally as possible and see if it somehow resonates.

Finally, let me return to science, while going a bit deeper into the subject of matrixes. One of the iconic images that came out of the movie, is the green computer code ‘raining’ in front of a black background. It was a way of representing the activity of the virtual reality environment of the Matrix on screen. Since then, Dr. James Gates has gotten attention for discovering what he says is computer code in the math that underlies our world. (Specifically, he said it was an error-correcting mechanism; others have analogized this code to the checksums that make the Internet work.) This has led him to speculate – in a mostly-joking way – that we might in fact be living in a giant computer simulation.[19] It is not hard to imagine that the scorn of the scientific community would come his way if he asserted it not ‘mostly-joking’. Others have been bolder in that regard. A very public figure and someone generally hailed as a modern-day visionary, Elon Musk,[20] has repeatedly spoken about the extremely high probability we actually live in a simulation. I will not go into the specifics about what my current understanding is about that in this chapter, but I just share it with you for your own contemplation at this moment.

So, this was quite a bit to take in, wasn’t it? In fact, the four points I made above are based on information that is quite readily available and accepted by what we generally consider the greatest minds of our planet, thus being entirely mainstream as I have defined it. I am aware that if you haven’t given up reading halfway the first chapter, you are open to less than mainstream information, but I still felt it beneficial to map out the rationalistic arguments.  I did this for two reasons: first, I find that approaching things from different perspectives only enriches it, and secondly, I wanted to demonstrate how, in my appreciation, things are converging. A movie made-up by two gender-bending directors later finds a certain degree of validation in the scientific community, science which operates by the dogma of proof is increasingly allowing for the ‘extreme bizarreness’ of the reality we live in and, last but not least, in this day and age we finally have our own computers and self-learning softwares that can help us understand – by way of direct analogy[21] – what the constantly yapping voice in our head actually is.

The funny things is that – outside of my knowledge, until I got the idea to search for it on the internet a few minutes ago – just the day before I wrote this, an article came out with Arnav Kapur saying “If you look at the history of computing, we’ve always treated computers as external devices that compute and act on our behalf […] What I want to do is I want to weave computing, AI and Internet as part of us.” The little patch is called AlterEgo and “essentially gives you a built-in Siri”.[22]

Even funnier is that the very same day I’m writing this, a mere 8 hours before, the story broke that ‘Agent Smith’ malware has infected millions of smartphones. Yet, to be completely honest with you, my Ego managed to get me in a fearful state for a few seconds when I found out about the coincidences of ‘Agent Smith’ taking over phones and the built-in Siri.[23] However, I decided not to play with that. I chose to observe and to see the beauty of our reality, the beauty of the convergence that is taking place, the wondrousness of it all coming together so perfectly. In short, I found joy, appreciation and excitement in all of that.

Remember the story of the boomerang? That was exactly what I was referring to. Don’t let yourself be aggravated by a situation in whatever form, whether it makes you uncomfortable, afraid, ashamed, sad or angry. Just choose to observe the situation as through a little child’s eyes. See how wonderous and beautiful the situation is and before you know it, you’ll have the boomerang back without the need for any big efforts. We have however been conditioned from a very young age to see everything either as wrong or right (mostly wrong, very few things achieve to be deemed fully ‘faultless’), while everything is in fact is right. Everything is perfect. Everything serves. We are here to play in the moment; and we chose how we experience that play, with wonder and appreciation or with fear and longing for other things.

That’s exactly what I did that day in the garden: once I had seen the comedy in my actions, and appreciated the beauty of my creation, I chose to go without fear or self-judgment to my parents. Because of the state-of-mind I was in, and the boyish excitement with which I was accosting my parents, they too saw the humorousness of the situation. Without any problems and without the need for any further effort on my behalf, I got all my toys back. Often all that is required, is a shift in perspective.

In essence, that is the metaphor of the boomerang that will come back, also in your life, if only you will let it.[24] You will not be surprised to hear, it worked equally well a few months ago when I could shift my perspective on me as a toddler. I could see again how I was just exploring the airplane or exploring the world beyond my bed. I released the conditioning from the world around me, the beautiful contributions of my Ego mind, and the stories I had created. I was no longer occupied with thoughts such as: ‘Oh, those were the days I just crawled around unconcerned, full of energy and see me now, it’s 5 o’clock in the afternoon and I have still not managed to get out of bed’. Or the evergreen: ‘you see how even as a kid you wanted to already kill yourself? I mean, you jumped of a balcony even before you could walk’. Rather, I could only enjoy the beauty of the experiences, the beauty of the stories I had created and the beauty of releasing those stories. I grew in more ways than one that day, feeling liberated and naturally reenergized.

Because of the length of this chapter I will not explain every story in detail, many of them will be expanded on in subsequent chapters anyway, but I think you get the gist of most of them. The point is not to be in nostalgia for the ‘good old days’, nor to label it on the contrary as terrible experiences that have scarred you for life. That’s just what the Ego wants: taking you away from your innate capacity to re-create yourself, and the world around you, in every single moment and keeping you as immobile and as non-expansive as it can, by making you linger in the past, or worry about the future. What about the inner-most you? Does it still want that?

If being pushed under water by an uncle is not the most comfortable of experiences, in the end, it is just that: an experience. I mean, how would holding a grudge against him for that, still be beneficial to me in this moment? After all, everybody is just playing the role (as you are in theirs) that you require in that moment, from the (non-)smiling vendor in the bakery to your spouse of 30 years. Family members simply have taken on a larger role. You play with them more, so you are bound to have attached a swarm of stories around them. Time to release those? What do you say?

If you say yes, it is your turn to take up pen and paper once again. In fact, take your notes from the last exercise and review them. Is there anything in your family dynamics that has come up for you while reading this chapter? Any stories that you hadn’t thought of and that you would like to map out now? How has this uncle/grandparent/sibling or that family concept had an impact on you? Ask yourself those questions. Did they shape your identity in any way? If so, do you still want to be identified, or in any other way defined, by those experiences or by any expectations and projections of your family members or their way of doing things?

Since you are mapping out the players and stories, maybe you will find connections between them that have a reinforcing effect. Acknowledge those too. And if you don’t want to play with any of those effects anymore (reinforced or not), just be grateful for the experiences you had and the roles the various players played, love the stories you created around them – whatever label you might have given the experiences or the players in the past – and release them. Just release them in the flowing waves of the Quantum Field, or the Field of Pure Potentiality. Feels liberating, doesn’t it?

Secondly, and this is more on an ongoing practice, try to catch your Ego in the act. Just recognise and observe it. Don’t fight it, there is no point in that; it would just get reinforced. Neither is there a point in labelling the Ego as anything less than perfect. Just observe it, see it at work. That, dear reader, is in my current perspective, gaining awareness and the first step towards creating a shift from polarized experiences to a world of boundless possibilities.

But most of all, don’t forget to be your child-like, playful self!

[1] About the importance of stories in how we experience our reality, I invite you to (re)read chapter 1. By the way, have you done the writing exercise at the end of the chapter? If so, please share your findings, they could be hugely beneficial to others.
If not, why not? Ask yourself, don’t come up with rationalisations. I – nor anyone else – is here to judge you. And besides, because of the format, I couldn’t even if I wanted to 🙂 So just ask yourself, see what comes up and see if you still want to play with those things.

[2] What do I mean by polarising? It means giving something a certain judgement, a certain definitive quality which has to have implications. When I talked in the past, like so many people, about my bi-polar experiences, I would not plainly say I was ‘doing this in this moment’ or ‘doing that in that moment’; no, I was either very up (manic, psychotic!), or very down (super depressed!). Even for the majority of what are called ‘normal’ people, politician X is not just one who delivers that message and takes those actions, but either a good politician or a bad politician, or the Hope of the Nation or the Next Incarnation of Hitler (if it gets very polarised). When you have X amount in the bank, you are either rich or poor; or, not as poor as your 3rd of 4th world brothers and sisters, but not as rich as you would like to be, or anything of that nature. When we polarise, an experience cannot not just be an experience, it is labelled, judged and put on a spectrum of opposing viewpoints. Thus we encourage the creation of a polarised world where neutrality and peace do not – or hardly – come in to play.

[3] Big Family, in German.

[4] The one who delivered me

[5] Flupke is a diminutive of my first name, knollebolleke is a hypocorism, Philippe-Touche-A-Tout means Philippe-Who-Touches-Everything and Philippus Maximus must refer to either the way I saw myself or the way she saw me, I don’t really know.

[6] From the Latin word for “I”

[7] Human comedy, in French

[8] I do not in any way intend to increase the polarity by these examples, just demonstrate how very different experiences can be.

[9] My Ego likes to take me on reality-creating rides, where I imagine realities and make stories, which I perfect endlessly. Then – if it’s not too far-fetched — my Ego will do everything it can to make me very disappointed if these versions of reality don’t match up with my actual experiences. To give you the perfect example of what I mean, when I was about to write this section on the Ego, my Ego took me in the direction of how good this information is going to be and how helpful to people and that I should promote it online and then I could get onto certain Youtube shows where they talk about this kind of thing and that I could share this or that extra information and that I should phrase that extra information like this, and if they asked me that question I could answer in that way, or (even better) in this way, or with that twist: that would make it clever and funny at the same time, etc.etc. In short, I was ready for an hour-long ride of hypothetical conversations in my mind, but after 5 minutes I recognised what was happening, saw the funniness of the situation (my Ego taking me for a ride, just at the moment I’m about to commit to paper how it operates in my understanding), took a little break and started writing down what I had to share.

[10] But if your interest is piqued, and you are open to it, I do strongly recommend you to check out the work of Franco DeNicola, who has been a great interlocutor for me in the past few months and has jumpstarted a lot, if not the majority, of the insights I am sharing in these writings. You will find some of his information on Youtube, or through his website francodenicola.com, or you can connect with him through Facebook. If you are really committed, do check out what he has to share on franco-denicola.teachable.com/. The material (including recordings of multi-day retreats) is truly eye-opening.

[11] And keep in mind this is only how far mainstream-science got up to in 2013 and only what concerns our galaxy! There are an estimated 200.000.000.000 galaxies in our universe. So if you multiply 40 billion with 200 billion, or even if there would not be a single liveable planet in another galaxy, the odds are so-to-speak infinitely small — if you ask me. Not to talk about other life forms, which could very well have very different parameters for what they would consider habitable. Think in this regard of the acidophiles on our planet that can live in pools of sulfur.

[12] Please note that when I use the word ‘mainstream’ it is again not my intention to heighten polarisation, or to create opposition against anything. I just use the word ‘mainstream’ with the meaning of ‘readily available and generally accepted’.

[13] Funny, if you consider that the word atom comes from atomos, Greek for “uncuttable, indivisible, smallest particle”

[14] See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quark

[15] In bosonic string theory, spacetime is 26-dimensional, while in superstring theory it is 10-dimensional, and in M-theory it is 11-dimensional.

[16] See for example https://www.nature.com/news/quantum-teleportation-achieved-over-record-distances-1.11163 or the very recent (at the time of posting): https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-just-unveiled-the-first-ever-photo-of-quantum-entanglement

[17] I might therefore phrase certain things in a less than perfectly accurate way, but it is my intention to give you the gist.

[18] Personally I do not resonate much with all the violence portrayed in it, and my guess would be that it was written and created by humans who by virtue of their own Ego distorted several things, but I acknowledge that it was instrumental in opening up the consciousness world-wide that we could be living in something akin to the matrix portrayed in the movie(s).

[19] I do invite you to watch this clip on youtube which features besides Dr. Gates and Neil deGrasse Tyson, a slew of Phisicysts: youtube.com/watch?v=6ytWEt8gQWA.From minute 16 you will see Dr. Gates talking about the code, but in fact the whole clip is very interesting, bringing together scientists from different backgrounds and points of views. Personally, I find notable the remark of Dr. Lee Smolin at minute 11 about what the philosopher and mathematician Charles Sanders Peirce who already said in 1893: “The progress of science w[ill] advance to the point where the problem becomes not what are these laws [of physics], but why these laws… it is the process of evolution we have to discover and understand[.]”

[20] Elon Musk is an interesting figure to say the least. Why did he appropriate the name of Tesla for his car-manufacturing business? With which intention is he sharing about the nature of our reality? Questions which can be useful to ask, but at the end of the day, what matters is that he is clearly playing a role that serves humanity in one way or another.

[21] We no longer have to recourse to more allegorical forms such as the little devil / angel figure of speech.

[22] https://leapsmag.com/siri-read-my-mind-a-new-device-lets-users-think-commands/. When we look at nature, we can see that even if it is not governed by perfect fractals, it has a certain ‘fractalian quality’ to it. Is it really too far-fetched to think that soon an AI created by another race will be communicating with humanly created AI?

[23] How is this possible, two news stories that brake within 24 hours before me writing about this? What repercussions will I get for ‘exposing’ this? Those thoughts went automatically through my head after the second coincidence. But then I observed it as just another program and released it. When you release your belief in polarity, you also release the notion that anything bad can happen to you, even that non-human AI – notwithstanding the impact and power it has had for so long – can do you harm. Good and bad don’t exist. Everything serves, until it no longer does.

[24] Or rather, if you are determined, when you will let it.

1 Comment

  1. Mr WordPress
    June 18, 2010

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